In the Acknowledgments section towards the end of the book Carol’s Lives, I placed a paragraph of gratitude for Damien Kiely.
“To Damien Kiely, for your amazing gift. You walked into my office on the last day of August 2019, seeking answers to your own life’s questions. You wished to follow your dreams, and you allowed me to witness your own incredible transformation. I am so glad that you agreed to share your natural gift, by granting me a reading focusing on the parts of Rick Miller that Carol never knew. You enriched the pages of Carol’s Lives because of it. Thank you for stepping into this with me.”
In the summer of 2019, as Carol’s Lives approached the last few pages of the first draft, I felt there was more information about Carol and Rick that I wanted to present, using a source different from Past Life Regression sessions with Tim.
As it happened, my new client Damien’s intuitive ability was very obvious at our first hypnosis past-Life Regression session. We had an amazing rapport during that session. He was easygoing and eager to help, while he appreciated the opportunity to practice his skills. It felt extremely right in my heart and mind to let Damien go into a trance and answer my questions, private as they were to me.
I didn’t tell Damien anything about Carol or Rick’s lives other than that I was writing a book based on the regression materials with my partner Tim.
Damien arrived at my office the second time, much earlier than our appointment. He walked around the office floor, completely lost, even though he had been there a month before.
“Brilliant,” I thought when he text-messaged me for help, “Linear time/space doesn’t work well with him. He’s made for multiple-dimensional travel.”
That day, I hypnotized Damien, and from a deep trance state, he started to let the information flow and read into Carol and Rick’s lives. You can imagine my shock when, at one point, Damien said, “Rick hanged himself, didn’t he?”
Towards the end, I also threw in some questions regarding my mother. I couldn’t help myself as she had just passed away a few weeks before.
Some of the information has been woven into the fabric of my book. Below are the original notes I took while working with Damien that day.
Carol and Rick
They loved each other, but they knew it’s wrong, yet they still did it.
Love at first sight. They knew, but their lives were complicated.
It started very casually, not in a sexual way. Their social interactions are very casual and normal. There were no instant sexual desires. They like each other for what they were. Magnetic.
They had no rules. They exist for each other. Co-exist, they just allow each other to be. They acknowledge their situation is complicated. They both are aware their situation is “unusual,” yet their efforts to pull away from each other push them further together.
They are dysfunctional yet very natural at the same time.
They were both repressed. They needed each other to find expression, privately, emotional attachment to each other. Sexual relationship is just an extension and a natural build-up of it. They refuse to give to each other’s desires quickly.
There is no bullshit. They are very straight to each other. They had arguments. I heard “fuck off” a couple of times to each other.
They ended up nothing even though it was pretty much something. They were not raised to express themselves properly. They wanted the same thing, but they communicated awkwardly. It was a wrong period of time for both. If they were born 60 years later, that would be fine.
Rick Miller
Rick is a charismatic person. Was in a very social job. He is tall. He’s a people person. He talks and talks. Is he initially a New Yorker? He has very distinct New York accent. Sounds very New Yorker.
Rick got into a lot of fights. A scrapper. His life had a fair share of hardship. Very poor, and he didn’t want to be his parents, that was why he went into financial industry. He wanted lots of money, and a better life.
He was kind, but he didn’t know how to express himself properly.
Rick knows how to live on the edge. He got into more fights after that Crash. He physically fought for food. But he found it easy because he knew how to survive poverty.
Carol likes the hard side of Rick. She wants someone to lead her, and he wants to be a leader. That’s what you (Kemila) wants to be, a leader; but Rick, and you, need to learn how to lead yourself. So his life was about how to lead himself out of poverty. But he pushed everyone away. He felt like a failure after the Crash. He had a fear of failure. He saw it a personal thing. He never recovered his soul, he got angry and bitter in the end, and shovelled everyone away. He feels too deeply.
Rick is very soft at heart. But raised cold and the core values made him very cold. He let that cold get him in the end. He couldn’t let go of those upbringings. He let his parents dominate his mind. He made himself lonely and bitter, but secretly he thought that was all what he wanted to be.
He hated his parents. They beat him. He didn’t have siblings. The parents expected a lot from him, they were very hard on him. They were jealous of him. They wanted him to be a helper not a child. He hated them with passion. He never resolved that part of them. A vicious cycle. He let his demons get him in the end.
He thought of her as he died. He regretted what he did. He made up his mind long time before he killed himself. Rick hanged himself, didn’t he? He cried as he died.
Carol Clark
She never wanted a boring life. She is a wandering soul. She wants something that couldn’t be given to her, adventure. Because Rick had a weird life, he could give her that adventure.
Carol wants what her husband couldn’t give her, adventure. She always wanted to go to Europe.
Carol talks too much, but didn’t feel enough.
Carol chickened out a few times. She got afraid. She never thought anything good about herself.
She never pursued her art. She appreciated fine art. She loves sculptures. She felt shame, because her father was a dick. He didn’t allow her to go anywhere. She spent a lot of time alone as a child, because they wanted a doll, not a child. They isolated her from the world. Carol liked Rick because he showed her the world. She liked the adventure he gave her. The mother couldn’t say a lot.
Carol didn’t pay attention that day when the car hit her. The driver was taken aback. He was never recovered mentally from there. He went to the funeral. They never blamed him. The family knew it was just a mistake. She died in peace, because she didn’t have to continue living a boring life. She didn’t want to die, but she accepted it. Her children accepted her death.
The Summer House
Carol’s family house is still there. They put a lot of money into the house. The best contractor they can find. A large house, a country summer house look, by the water. There’s a dock. A jargon summer country house. Oak. “We want the best, because WE ARE THE BEST.” Carol’s father’s advice. Very English. Very arrogant. Carol was never like that deep down. She never bought into it. She loves boats, and loves being by the dock. She wanted to sail.
Carol never threw her paintings away. She kept them in basement. They are still in New York. They may still be in the summer house, which is never destroyed. The house is white, cream colour. Steps in the front. It’s big. Two or three storeys. He wanted tree (George his name?). “Why build the house we are never going to live?” Carol’s mother asked.
“Because we are the best.” Carol’s father said.
They’ve done this before
Every time they met, it was always complicated. Not always affaires, but always different circumstances, so to speak. Casual… Always odd. Something about mid ages.
Italy. They both existed in the 16th century. Fort Florence. Francesca (Kemila and Rick) and Paolo (Tim and Carol). Rich and poor. Paolo was rich. Francesca was poor. Paolo’s family said no because Francesca was a peasant. They killed her. Threw her to river and told him that she ran away. He was fooled. He married someone “suitable”, but he never liked it. He died longing for her, at an old age. He never recovered because he thought she ran away from him. It was worse than knowing the truth. Paolo loved Francesca because she was smart.
Carol’s Offspring
They had children, in America (still in New York) and China.
The book
It will do very well, because it’s honest, no frills. It’ll sell. But you are not doing it for money. The process has been healing for you. You’ve let go of a lot of things because of this. You’ve accepted a lot of things. The book is not about the money. You have to write it to let it go what you should have let go a long time ago.
Financially the book will do alright, but personally the book will do astounding. It’ll touch people. And will let a lot of skeptics believe.
You’ve fixed that pattern in your cycle. That’s why you need to write it, so you don’t repeat the pattern. Now you are open. You are happy with it. And they kind of like how the story being told.
You Kemila
Your life is going to get a lot better because of writing, completing and publishing this book, because you have let go of something, something overdue. You reset a lot of your background because of this, and your family. You are different from your family.
They still love you. I sense the acceptance on both sides. You had a problem getting along with your siblings.
Your mom was very hard on you. She made you feel lacking. You struggled with that for a long time. Now you let that anger flow away.
You are the happiest now you’ve ever been.
You’ve been through a lot. A lot of them were caused by family. But you didn’t want to acknowledge it. You had to fight to get what you wanted.
Kemila’s Mother
Your mother is proud of you, because she saw what you have become. Your mother was stuck in a loop. She never hated you, but she hated herself. You were the conduit for that frustration. She could never accept herself. She accepts what she is. She accepts what you are. You are able to do what she was not able to do when she was younger.
She conformed. You refuse to conform, ever. You always question things. She tried to shut you up many times. You did things she couldn’t do. You followed your own path. She kind of felt she lived through you. She’s here and there, everywhere. She’s like that security camera, always watching but never imposing on you. She is around. She doesn’t judge anyone now. She just sees life. She sees life. She sees me, and you, Vancouver, stars… She sees everything. She sees that now. She’s sorry whatever happened between you two, because she let go of her evil. She removed. Her evil stayed in her body. Pride, just pride. She’s always with you. You both broke the cycle. She broke the cycle through her physical death, and you changed the direction of your flow. You’ll always be around with each other, just in different forms. Deep down you know what to do. You both love each other. She wanted more in life. You are alike. You are what she always wanted to be. Society made her believe…
You are a slight outcast (And Kemila said, “Happily so.”) You were very lonely in China. You felt weird. You never felt home. You are not too bothered with the communities. You don’t share their values, but you don’t hate. You have a lot of influence. You have the Chinese pushiness. There’s no nationality in you. You still have to fight for who you are.
You are Chinese in nationality, but you don’t give it a shit about nationality. You are just you. You are very protective of people who matter to you. You don’t let in a lot of people. But those few you do let in; you’d take a bullet for them. You are talkative, but socially reserved.
You take in a lot, but you don’t let in a lot, in terms of people. You are smarter than I am. And I’m very smart. We are close. But you are slightly above me intellectually, like 5 or 10 IQ points above me. Just, not quite genius level, but you are up there. You are probably smarter than me at this point, because of your experiences in life.
You really enjoy this job. This is your calling. You fell into it. It found you. You always followed your soul’s path. You have rural values. You don’t care where you live. You will stay in urban areas, because your skills are useless in rural areas. You are at your best in the energy of a city because you love people. This is why you like this job, because you always deal with people.
