After the book Carol’s Lives was published, I felt Chapter 15, On to the Promised Path, was not completely finished. So, I’m writing this blog post, attempting to finish what was unfinished.
In that chapter, I wrote about how, since childhood, I was aware and was guided to this path of being a hypnotherapist, even though I was not aware that I was aware and guided – I’m not trying to twist the tongues here. It’s just the intricacy of being a human: We are layered.
The moment everything is put into words, things have already done happening. The underlying forces, causes, and processes have come into materialization. Energies have been brought to the manifestation. Now, it’s just for the world to see – like my business card telling people that I am a hypnotherapist.
I find it fulfilling to know and to help others know there’s a real rich world within us, and the world without is only an extension – the final stage for our inner show. It’s not a place to define us, but a place to allow us to express ourselves.
The planet is awakening. Individuals are awakening to our true nature, going through the biggest evolution of consciousness humanity has ever experienced. “Awakening” may sound like bliss, but it often feels like an abyss – How deep can we fall? Or float? Or fly? Tobias, channelled by Geoffrey Hoppe at Crimson Circle, listed 12 signs of awakening:
- Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back.
- Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason.
- Crying for no apparent reason.
- Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don’t worry about finding the “perfect” job or career right now. This too shall pass. You’re in transition and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.
- Withdrawal from family relationships.
- Unusual sleep patterns.
- Intense dreams.
- Physical disorientation.
- Increased “self talk.”
- Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others.
- Loss of passion.
- A deep longing to go Home.
I feel lucky that my awakening, starting in 2007, as illustrated in Carol’s Lives, was completely accompanied by my career change. When I was laid off by the financial firm I had been working for, hypnotherapy absorbed my attention and time; thus, I didn’t have much time to worry about job loss. I subsequently became less and less social. I still loved my friends. I just didn’t need to hang out with them to love them. Unbeknownst to me then, this career transition made my awakening process so much smoother, as the clients who walked into my private practice started to show me how dysfunctional our human minds (mine included) can be. Unbeknownst to him till this day, my partner Tim’s energy helped the entire process, too.
Speaking of a career change to get onto the Promised Path, on a Sunday in June 2010, when we had just graduated from a year-long Hypnotherapy Training program, my classmate Sylvain and I walked along Davie Street. He asked me how things were going with me, and I responded sarcastically, “I was just laid off, which means I lost my job. How do you think things are going with me?”
His answer was shocking. “Great! Now you can do this full-time!”
“Do what full-time?”
“Hypnotherapy! You were just laid off, and you just graduated from the school. It’s perfect timing. It’s a sign from the universe.”
My mind was miles away from this “sign.” I didn’t go to hypnotherapy school for a career change – I was just curious. And I wanted to know how I could change my subconscious mind so I could change my life. Who am I to even think of helping others?
I applied for Employment Insurance for financial support. The insurance bureau told me, “When you don’t have a job, looking for a job is your full-time job.” I was diligently documenting the hours spent looking for jobs for them. Throughout my work life, it has always been easy for me to find jobs. I seem to make good first impressions with people, and people tend to hire people they like, rather than the most qualified on the paper.
However, in the process of finding another “admin job,” something was different. It felt like all the cells in my body were screamingly uncomfortable. Today, I would rationalize that my soul was begging me, very loudly, “Kemila, how many more lifetimes do you want to mess around to get this right? Don’t you know you’ve been distracted, played safe and small for a little too many lifetimes? Haven’t you promised yourself to get it right in THIS lifetime?” However, back then, I didn’t have those thoughts. I just felt the resistance in my body and noticed how uncomfortable my body was when I attempted to do “my full-time job” of looking for another job. I also noticed the corollary, how relieved I felt when I threw the job listings away and watched another clip of a hypnosis video or read another chapter of a hypnosis book.
I still didn’t connect what Sylvain was saying with what I was experiencing until, one day, a woman called me. She heard from my friend Kim that I had just graduated from a hypnotherapy school. She told me she was experiencing a strange anxiety. She felt that her husband was going to leave her despite having no evidence and reassurances from her loving husband.
I didn’t have an office. I didn’t have a proper website. I didn’t have confidence.
But suddenly, I had a client!
To make myself more comfortable, I offered her a 50% discount off an already pretty low rate, and quickly rearranged my nephew’s bedroom (How amazing it was that my nephew had just moved out? But I was still not making the connection back then), and welcomed this lady, my first ever client, in my home office.
That make-do private practice lasted nine years before I moved to a downtown office. It became clearer and clearer to me that this actually was it. I came here in this lifetime to do this, regardless of my mind’s resistance and lack of confidence, regardless of the ups and downs of life, regardless of how desperate my tendency can get (Just look at Rick Miller’s New York life. The desperation is still in me to this day.) In my heart and soul, I know I have made a promise to myself to have this life be the lifetime.
And along this journey, I have many angels, like my partner Tim, my colleague Sylvain, my friend Kim, and my first client whose name I’ll never forget but I’ll omit here…
