Readings by Damien Kiely

In the Acknowledgments section towards the end of the book Carol’s Lives, I placed a paragraph of gratitude for Damien Kiely.

“To Damien Kiely, for your amazing gift. You walked into my office on the last day of August 2019, seeking answers to your own life’s questions. You wished to follow your dreams, and you allowed me to witness your own incredible transformation. I am so glad that you agreed to share your natural gift, by granting me a reading focusing on the parts of Rick Miller that Carol never knew. You enriched the pages of Carol’s Lives because of it. Thank you for stepping into this with me.”

Damien Kiely graciously sent me this photo after I told him that I was going to put our session notes into a blog post

In the summer of 2019, as Carol’s Lives approached the last few pages of the first draft, I felt there was more information about Carol and Rick that I wanted to present, using a source different from Past Life Regression sessions with Tim.

As it happened, my new client Damien’s intuitive ability was very obvious at our first hypnosis past-Life Regression session. We had an amazing rapport during that session. He was easygoing and eager to help, while he appreciated the opportunity to practice his skills. It felt extremely right in my heart and mind to let Damien go into a trance and answer my questions, private as they were to me.

I didn’t tell Damien anything about Carol or Rick’s lives other than that I was writing a book based on the regression materials with my partner Tim.

Damien arrived at my office the second time, much earlier than our appointment. He walked around the office floor, completely lost, even though he had been there a month before.

“Brilliant,” I thought when he text-messaged me for help, “Linear time/space doesn’t work well with him. He’s made for multiple-dimensional travel.”

That day, I hypnotized Damien, and from a deep trance state, he started to let the information flow and read into Carol and Rick’s lives. You can imagine my shock when, at one point, Damien said, “Rick hanged himself, didn’t he?”

Towards the end, I also threw in some questions regarding my mother. I couldn’t help myself as she had just passed away a few weeks before.

Some of the information has been woven into the fabric of my book. Below are the original notes I took while working with Damien that day.

Carol and Rick

They loved each other, but they knew it’s wrong, yet they still did it.

Love at first sight. They knew, but their lives were complicated.

It started very casually, not in a sexual way. Their social interactions are very casual and normal. There were no instant sexual desires. They like each other for what they were. Magnetic.

They had no rules. They exist for each other. Co-exist, they just allow each other to be. They acknowledge their situation is complicated. They both are aware their situation is “unusual,” yet their efforts to pull away from each other push them further together.

They are dysfunctional yet very natural at the same time.

They were both repressed. They needed each other to find expression, privately, emotional attachment to each other. Sexual relationship is just an extension and a natural build-up of it. They refuse to give to each other’s desires quickly.

There is no bullshit. They are very straight to each other. They had arguments. I heard “fuck off” a couple of times to each other.

They ended up nothing even though it was pretty much something. They were not raised to express themselves properly. They wanted the same thing, but they communicated awkwardly. It was a wrong period of time for both. If they were born 60 years later, that would be fine.

Rick Miller

Rick is a charismatic person. Was in a very social job. He is tall. He’s a people person. He talks and talks. Is he initially a New Yorker? He has very distinct New York accent. Sounds very New Yorker.

Rick got into a lot of fights. A scrapper. His life had a fair share of hardship. Very poor, and he didn’t want to be his parents, that was why he went into financial industry. He wanted lots of money, and a better life.

He was kind, but he didn’t know how to express himself properly.

Rick knows how to live on the edge. He got into more fights after that Crash. He physically fought for food. But he found it easy because he knew how to survive poverty.

Carol likes the hard side of Rick. She wants someone to lead her, and he wants to be a leader. That’s what you (Kemila) wants to be, a leader; but Rick, and you, need to learn how to lead yourself. So his life was about how to lead himself out of poverty. But he pushed everyone away. He felt like a failure after the Crash. He had a fear of failure. He saw it a personal thing. He never recovered his soul, he got angry and bitter in the end, and shovelled everyone away. He feels too deeply.

Rick is very soft at heart. But raised cold and the core values made him very cold. He let that cold get him in the end. He couldn’t let go of those upbringings. He let his parents dominate his mind. He made himself lonely and bitter, but secretly he thought that was all what he wanted to be.

He hated his parents. They beat him. He didn’t have siblings. The parents expected a lot from him, they were very hard on him. They were jealous of him. They wanted him to be a helper not a child. He hated them with passion. He never resolved that part of them. A vicious cycle. He let his demons get him in the end.

He thought of her as he died. He regretted what he did. He made up his mind long time before he killed himself. Rick hanged himself, didn’t he? He cried as he died.

Carol Clark

She never wanted a boring life. She is a wandering soul. She wants something that couldn’t be given to her, adventure. Because Rick had a weird life, he could give her that adventure.

Carol wants what her husband couldn’t give her, adventure. She always wanted to go to Europe.

Carol talks too much, but didn’t feel enough.

Carol chickened out a few times. She got afraid. She never thought anything good about herself.

She never pursued her art. She appreciated fine art. She loves sculptures. She felt shame, because her father was a dick. He didn’t allow her to go anywhere. She spent a lot of time alone as a child, because they wanted a doll, not a child. They isolated her from the world. Carol liked Rick because he showed her the world. She liked the adventure he gave her. The mother couldn’t say a lot.

Carol didn’t pay attention that day when the car hit her. The driver was taken aback. He was never recovered mentally from there. He went to the funeral. They never blamed him. The family knew it was just a mistake. She died in peace, because she didn’t have to continue living a boring life. She didn’t want to die, but she accepted it. Her children accepted her death.

The Summer House

Carol’s family house is still there. They put a lot of money into the house. The best contractor they can find. A large house, a country summer house look, by the water. There’s a dock. A jargon summer country house. Oak. “We want the best, because WE ARE THE BEST.” Carol’s father’s advice. Very English. Very arrogant. Carol was never like that deep down. She never bought into it. She loves boats, and loves being by the dock. She wanted to sail.

Carol never threw her paintings away. She kept them in basement. They are still in New York. They may still be in the summer house, which is never destroyed. The house is white, cream colour. Steps in the front. It’s big. Two or three storeys. He wanted tree (George his name?). “Why build the house we are never going to live?” Carol’s mother asked.

“Because we are the best.” Carol’s father said.

They’ve done this before

Every time they met, it was always complicated. Not always affaires, but always different circumstances, so to speak. Casual… Always odd. Something about mid ages.

Italy. They both existed in the 16th century. Fort Florence. Francesca (Kemila and Rick) and Paolo (Tim and Carol). Rich and poor. Paolo was rich. Francesca was poor. Paolo’s family said no because Francesca was a peasant. They killed her. Threw her to river and told him that she ran away. He was fooled. He married someone “suitable”, but he never liked it. He died longing for her, at an old age. He never recovered because he thought she ran away from him. It was worse than knowing the truth. Paolo loved Francesca because she was smart.

Carol’s Offspring

They had children, in America (still in New York) and China.

The book

It will do very well, because it’s honest, no frills. It’ll sell. But you are not doing it for money. The process has been healing for you. You’ve let go of a lot of things because of this. You’ve accepted a lot of things. The book is not about the money. You have to write it to let it go what you should have let go a long time ago.

Financially the book will do alright, but personally the book will do astounding. It’ll touch people. And will let a lot of skeptics believe.

You’ve fixed that pattern in your cycle. That’s why you need to write it, so you don’t repeat the pattern. Now you are open. You are happy with it. And they kind of like how the story being told.

You Kemila

Your life is going to get a lot better because of writing, completing and publishing this book, because you have let go of something, something overdue. You reset a lot of your background because of this, and your family. You are different from your family.

They still love you. I sense the acceptance on both sides. You had a problem getting along with your siblings.

Your mom was very hard on you. She made you feel lacking. You struggled with that for a long time. Now you let that anger flow away.

You are the happiest now you’ve ever been.

You’ve been through a lot. A lot of them were caused by family. But you didn’t want to acknowledge it. You had to fight to get what you wanted.

Kemila’s Mother

Your mother is proud of you, because she saw what you have become. Your mother was stuck in a loop. She never hated you, but she hated herself. You were the conduit for that frustration. She could never accept herself. She accepts what she is. She accepts what you are. You are able to do what she was not able to do when she was younger.

She conformed. You refuse to conform, ever. You always question things. She tried to shut you up many times. You did things she couldn’t do. You followed your own path. She kind of felt she lived through you. She’s here and there, everywhere. She’s like that security camera, always watching but never imposing on you. She is around. She doesn’t judge anyone now. She just sees life. She sees life. She sees me, and you, Vancouver, stars… She sees everything. She sees that now. She’s sorry whatever happened between you two, because she let go of her evil. She removed. Her evil stayed in her body. Pride, just pride. She’s always with you. You both broke the cycle. She broke the cycle through her physical death, and you changed the direction of your flow. You’ll always be around with each other, just in different forms. Deep down you know what to do. You both love each other. She wanted more in life. You are alike. You are what she always wanted to be. Society made her believe…

You are a slight outcast (And Kemila said, “Happily so.”) You were very lonely in China. You felt weird. You never felt home. You are not too bothered with the communities. You don’t share their values, but you don’t hate. You have a lot of influence. You have the Chinese pushiness. There’s no nationality in you. You still have to fight for who you are.

You are Chinese in nationality, but you don’t give it a shit about nationality. You are just you. You are very protective of people who matter to you. You don’t let in a lot of people. But those few you do let in; you’d take a bullet for them. You are talkative, but socially reserved.

You take in a lot, but you don’t let in a lot, in terms of people. You are smarter than I am. And I’m very smart. We are close. But you are slightly above me intellectually, like 5 or 10 IQ points above me. Just, not quite genius level, but you are up there. You are probably smarter than me at this point, because of your experiences in life.

You really enjoy this job. This is your calling. You fell into it. It found you. You always followed your soul’s path. You have rural values. You don’t care where you live. You will stay in urban areas, because your skills are useless in rural areas. You are at your best in the energy of a city because you love people. This is why you like this job, because you always deal with people.

The Promised Path

After the book Carol’s Lives was published, I felt Chapter 15, On to the Promised Path, was not completely finished. So, I’m writing this blog post, attempting to finish what was unfinished.

In that chapter, I wrote about how, since childhood, I was aware and was guided to this path of being a hypnotherapist, even though I was not aware that I was aware and guided – I’m not trying to twist the tongues here. It’s just the intricacy of being a human: We are layered.

The moment everything is put into words, things have already done happening. The underlying forces, causes, and processes have come into materialization. Energies have been brought to the manifestation. Now, it’s just for the world to see – like my business card telling people that I am a hypnotherapist.

I find it fulfilling to know and to help others know there’s a real rich world within us, and the world without is only an extension – the final stage for our inner show. It’s not a place to define us, but a place to allow us to express ourselves.

The planet is awakening. Individuals are awakening to our true nature, going through the biggest evolution of consciousness humanity has ever experienced. “Awakening” may sound like bliss, but it often feels like an abyss – How deep can we fall? Or float? Or fly? Tobias, channelled by Geoffrey Hoppe at Crimson Circle, listed 12 signs of awakening:

  1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back.
  2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason.
  3. Crying for no apparent reason.
  4. Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don’t worry about finding the “perfect” job or career right now. This too shall pass. You’re in transition and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.
  5. Withdrawal from family relationships.
  6. Unusual sleep patterns.
  7. Intense dreams.
  8. Physical disorientation.
  9. Increased “self talk.” 
  10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others.
  11. Loss of passion.
  12. A deep longing to go Home.

I feel lucky that my awakening, starting in 2007, as illustrated in Carol’s Lives, was completely accompanied by my career change. When I was laid off by the financial firm I had been working for, hypnotherapy absorbed my attention and time; thus, I didn’t have much time to worry about job loss. I subsequently became less and less social. I still loved my friends. I just didn’t need to hang out with them to love them. Unbeknownst to me then, this career transition made my awakening process so much smoother, as the clients who walked into my private practice started to show me how dysfunctional our human minds (mine included) can be. Unbeknownst to him till this day, my partner Tim’s energy helped the entire process, too.

Speaking of a career change to get onto the Promised Path, on a Sunday in June 2010, when we had just graduated from a year-long Hypnotherapy Training program, my classmate Sylvain and I walked along Davie Street. He asked me how things were going with me, and I responded sarcastically, “I was just laid off, which means I lost my job. How do you think things are going with me?”

His answer was shocking. “Great! Now you can do this full-time!”

“Do what full-time?”

“Hypnotherapy! You were just laid off, and you just graduated from the school. It’s perfect timing. It’s a sign from the universe.”

My mind was miles away from this “sign.” I didn’t go to hypnotherapy school for a career change – I was just curious. And I wanted to know how I could change my subconscious mind so I could change my life. Who am I to even think of helping others?

I applied for Employment Insurance for financial support. The insurance bureau told me, “When you don’t have a job, looking for a job is your full-time job.” I was diligently documenting the hours spent looking for jobs for them. Throughout my work life, it has always been easy for me to find jobs. I seem to make good first impressions with people, and people tend to hire people they like, rather than the most qualified on the paper.

However, in the process of finding another “admin job,” something was different. It felt like all the cells in my body were screamingly uncomfortable. Today, I would rationalize that my soul was begging me, very loudly, “Kemila, how many more lifetimes do you want to mess around to get this right? Don’t you know you’ve been distracted, played safe and small for a little too many lifetimes? Haven’t you promised yourself to get it right in THIS lifetime?” However, back then, I didn’t have those thoughts. I just felt the resistance in my body and noticed how uncomfortable my body was when I attempted to do “my full-time job” of looking for another job. I also noticed the corollary, how relieved I felt when I threw the job listings away and watched another clip of a hypnosis video or read another chapter of a hypnosis book.

I still didn’t connect what Sylvain was saying with what I was experiencing until, one day, a woman called me. She heard from my friend Kim that I had just graduated from a hypnotherapy school. She told me she was experiencing a strange anxiety. She felt that her husband was going to leave her despite having no evidence and reassurances from her loving husband.

I didn’t have an office. I didn’t have a proper website. I didn’t have confidence.

But suddenly, I had a client!

To make myself more comfortable, I offered her a 50% discount off an already pretty low rate, and quickly rearranged my nephew’s bedroom (How amazing it was that my nephew had just moved out? But I was still not making the connection back then), and welcomed this lady, my first ever client, in my home office.

That make-do private practice lasted nine years before I moved to a downtown office. It became clearer and clearer to me that this actually was it. I came here in this lifetime to do this, regardless of my mind’s resistance and lack of confidence, regardless of the ups and downs of life, regardless of how desperate my tendency can get (Just look at Rick Miller’s New York life. The desperation is still in me to this day.) In my heart and soul, I know I have made a promise to myself to have this life be the lifetime.

And along this journey, I have many angels, like my partner Tim, my colleague Sylvain, my friend Kim, and my first client whose name I’ll never forget but I’ll omit here…

My Third Book Release!

I am pleased to announce the publication of my third book Many Blessings Will Come.

Back in the day when I just started on this hypnotherapy journey, I devoted all my time to studying, reading, obsessing, and binge-watching everything about hypnotism. People close to me would say, “You don’t have a life. You only care about hypnosis.” To that I would reply, “But hypnosis IS my life, so haha I do have one.” I’m a hypnotist, I can’t help but reframe and redefine things.

One of the motivational places for me to binge was HMI – Indeed, M stands for Motivational at Hypnosis Motivational Institute. All those fabulous instructors in LA. They were like superhumans to me. The instructor who especially stood out from the crowd was Michele Guzy. She is beautiful, charismatic, personable, fun, witty, spiritual, and commanding. She was on TV, on the radio, on the stream… She could take a whole team of big football players into hypnosis and send them on their way to some peak performances. I was so hooked.

Now, can you imagine that feeling in me when this same person, Michele Guzy, all these years later, offered to write a Forward in my new book Many Blessings Will Come?! Putting her name in my book would have been the reason enough for me to have written the book! But of course, I would not have discovered that until I had finished writing the book.

Life’s full circle.

Just in this process, I have also discovered another quality of this amazing human being: humbleness.

I am stoked.
 
This book, with the subtitle Tales of Recovering Inner Commitments, Gifts, and Wisdom Through Hypnotherapy, is written for those who want to go beyond the traditional use of hypnotherapy for behaviour change, into the spiritual realm. 

Here’s a little excerpt from Michele’s Forward: 

Both Ebook and paperbacks can be found in most places that books are. I have a few copies in my Vancouver downtown office. I’d like to invite you to check out the links below for you,  and maybe for anyone you know who is interested in this subject matter.

Purchase it on Amazon Kindle

Amazon Paperback

Barnes & Noble

Available from other E-Book Stores.

iBook

When you get a copy, I would LOVE that you leave a review where you get the book! Many many thanks! 

Counting My Blessings

I would like to give an update on my new book: Many Blessings Will Come, Tales of Recovering Inner Commitments, Gifts, and Wisdom Through Hypnotherapy.

We have revised the second draft of the manuscript. Both my editor and I are liking how it has developed – an engaging read with strong chapters opening and closing the book.

I believe all the authors out there would agree with me that on the book writing journey, a good editor is crucial to success. I am very happy to have Melanie Christian as my editor for both Carol’s Lives and Many Blessings to Come.

Not only does Melanie perform the full set of editing functions: structural editing, developmental editing, copy editing, and proofreading, but also, she shares with me her observations and analysis of the book as a whole and gives me many suggestions.

Some words from Melanie:

Many Blessings Will Come is a beautiful anthology and unique showcase of your current life’s work in the form of 21 narratives. It evokes the wonder and blessings of visiting past, inter-, and probable lives, while demonstrating the healing power of hypnosis.

A suggestion Melanie gave me was:

Following the Acknowledgements, add Back Matter reviews of previous books from any clients who have recognized professions (e.g., celebrities, mental health practitioners, such as other therapists or coaches); or from other writers/authors, hypnotherapists, book critics, online book reviewers, local celebrities, or notable wellness specialists.

I initially resisted this idea, feeling that “A good book speaks for itself.” I didn’t mind if it took time for people to find a significant book like Many Blessings Will Come.

But after letting the idea sit with me for over a month, I finally made a list of some esteemed hypnotherapists who I truly have learned from, and a few others whose work I respect and honour. Then it came to the real part: asking for their help. I can’t say that I’m particularly good at it, however, I sent out a number of emails and heard back from some of them who are willing to read my book and give it their recommendations. This is so humbling and encouraging, and thanks to Melanie, I am so grateful for their assistance.

Current Manuscript Outline

Introduction
Chapter 1, Part I – A Prior Engagement
Chapter 2, Part I – Past Life Drama
Chapter 3, Part I – A Friend of My Father’s
Chapter 4, Part I – One Hour, Seven Lifetimes
Chapter 5, Part I – Boundless Love
Chapter 6, Part I – A Secret Beach
Chapter 7, Part I – Yesterday and Tomorrow’s Child

Chapter 8, Part II – Pain Body, Wolf, Ghost and Laughter
Chapter 9, Part II – Coaching A Ghost
Chapter 10, Part II – On the Run
Chapter 11, Part II – Just Do It!
Chapter 12, Part II – Seer’s Plight
Chapter 13, Part II – Free To BE
Chapter 14, Part II – Falling to Grace
Chapter 15, Part II – Ancient Visitations
Chapter 16, Part II – Death Walker Julie

Chapter 17, Part III – Mystic Tree
Chapter 18, Part III – Samantha’s Book of Life Chapter 19, Part III – Lost and Found
Chapter 20, Part III – Many Blessings Will Come Epilogue – Remember Who You Are
Acknowledgments

Pre-order your PDF copy of the book here: https://kemilahypnosis.com/downloads/many-blessings-will-come/.

I don’t want to keep Melanie my best-kept secret. If you wish to check out her work, you can find her at: https://forwardmusesolutions.com.

Letter From Eric

My dear friend Eric bought my book Carol’s Lives. After reading it, he kindly sent me an email thanking me “for the opportunity to read your mind-expanding, interesting, and unique book.”

I took it all in when he described how the book was a “page-turner” for him as he couldn’t put it down, after initially deciding to read a chapter per bedtime.

It is really hard to sum up my feelings about the book because I had many thoughts when I was reading it. First, it is very well written. It flowed very well from chapter to chapter and the descriptions created clear images in my mind.

I was totally surprised to learn that one could have future live regressions (or maybe these are called progressions?). I found the future stories fascinating.

And, of course, the stories of Carol and Rick were fascinating too. The “dark and light” story near the end of the book in New York was pretty mind blowing.

It was delightful for me to hear that this dear friend who called himself an atheist, like Tim in the book, said in his email that “for the first time this week, after reading your book, I am starting to think there is more to this life than meets the eye. I am starting to think I need to trust my intuition more. And I need to allow for possibilities in my life.”

Yes please. Trust your intuition more. Intuition is actually the only consistent trustworthy source of one’s life. Eric and I like to agree that “life flows through us and we are a vessel.” If life flows through me, I absolutely have everything I need when I need it. How can I not trust life itself? Certainly, trusting life makes my life much easier. I’ve been teaching a course called Effective Intuition in Vancouver’s West End Community Centre for some years. My opening line in the class has always been, “I cannot make you more intuitive than you already are. I’m here to help you trust your intuition a little more.”

Eric is very much into music. He told me he has loved the Fleetwood Mac song “You Make Loving Fun” since childhood, particularly these lyrics:

I never did believe in miracles
But I’ve a feeling it’s time to try
I never did believe in the ways of magic
But I’m beginning to wonder why

In his email, Eric added, “Maybe it is time for me to start believing in something other than science and so-called facts. As you say, return to being a child.”

Magic and miracle are two of my favourite words in English. And I truly feel they are just fancy words on Earth to point to what’s actually the universal norm. For a while, I have been living my professional and personal life in which “paranormal” is normal; “supernatural” is natural, and “metaphysical” is simply physics. Earth is a very interesting place to come up with those unnatural ways to look at things and mystify what’s natural.

Another beautiful word Eric mentioned in the email, “allow” is another of my favourites. The easiest word, the hardest thing to do, for a human. Welcome to the earth school, in which science and facts have become almost a religion in the past 300 years when the prevailing model of gaining knowledge has been a scientific one, a science of deductive reasoning based on visible evidence. It influences our language. When we say something is reasonable, we mean it’s true. Reasoning is a good tool, yet it can kill intuition.

If I allow myself to be bold enough to say, facts are always aftermath. I have to create something first for it to become a fact, and for a scientist to collect data. Unless I create, where is the data? Science certainly has a history of being wrong in so many ways. For me, the beauty of science is an attitude that simply says, “I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Curiosity is what I like about science, not authority. Taking it to the lab, and coming out with references. But those “facts” are definitely changeable, always.

In 2013, I went back to China, my mother was about to undergo major surgery. I asked the doctor how confident he was. He brought me aside, and said given my mother’s age and the conditions, the survival rate was about 5%. It was horrible to envision my mother being 5%. So I told the surgeon, “My mother is going to be one-hundred-percently in the 5% category. And YOU are going to make it happen.” He did. Maybe I hypnotized him. I sometimes laugh at how applicable it is to MY life when scientists tell me average percentages. For my life, I’m either 100% alive or 100% dead. I just can’t settle for less than 100%.

And in order to stay in this physical realm with some semblance of sanity and grace, it’s imperative to understand the underlying energies of personal and global situations, because nothing is as it appears to be on the surface. There are always people who make a lot of money in bad economies. And people who find great jobs in high unemployment rate societies. We each create our own reality. And we each are such creative beings.

Living a magical and miraculous life is simply to create. I am too alive to be facts and figures, which points to the -end. But in my life, I am always at the beginning-. In that sense, all the books after they are written, are literally “released” by the author to take life on their own. I let science and scientist chase and analyze me if they wish, while I’m having fun creating all the right’s and wrong’s and good’s and bad’s. A never-ending creative journey is all my life is about.

True spirituality is fluid, like creativity itself. There is no division or boundary you can draw in water. There is nothing to believe in. When I believe in something, I start to have a position to defend. An atheist in itself is also a position one can take. Any position we take, we will need to defend it. True spirituality is so open that everything is seen, heard and allowed. Omnipresence is the closest word. It is everywhere. It does not have a particular shape or form to take. It is that free.

Carol’s Lives is about experiencing life. There is nothing to believe in. But I’m very glad, Eric, that it has given you an enjoyable reading experience.

A Note from Tim

In May 2018, I came up with this fancy idea, that was to have Tim write a note, or a preface for my book, without him reading it first.

I thought the entire book is about him, in and out of this life, it just made sense for him to have a say, at the beginning of the book. And without being too much influenced by my points of view, which are the tone of the book, it would be a great idea to put his original points of view into the book.

Tim gracefully cooperated and wrote the following piece. When you read the book, you will find, this “note” or the “preface” is not actually included in the book.  After this note was written, we discovered most of his “points of view” were already covered in my “points of view”. What a coincidence!  (wink)

Kemila told me about her idea for this book and asked me if I was okay with it. I am a private person and this book talks about events of my life, contains expressions of my personal feelings, and portrays experiences that I had while in a hypnotic trance. So this request made me deeply uncomfortable.

But then there is the story that the book would tell. At its core that is a story about love. And the person wanting to write it is the love of my life. So of course I gave her my blessing and encouragement and helped in any way that I could.

A core facet of the book involves my experiences while in a hypnotic trance and regressed (or progressed) to different points in time. What are those experiences? I certainly visualize events when guided through a regression process. Some events are easier than others to visualize and some questions easier to answer. Often, although not always, events become more clear and the experience becomes more tangible as the regression progresses. Feelings and emotions are almost always easier to identify than concrete details though sometimes those details are extremely vivid.

And afterward, coming out of a trance, opening my eyes, and re-joining the world that I generally inhabit, I feel a sense of dislocation much more pronounced than when waking from a powerful dream.

But did those things I experienced while in trance actually happen? Or are they instead an invention of my imagination, a fantasy? My professional background is computer science and science and logic ground my thinking. To my knowledge, there is no scientific basis to believe in reincarnation. Yet of all the world’s great belief systems, Buddhism makes the most sense to me. So even though it is almost impossible to prove a negative, I am skeptical that what I experienced in trance was a manifestation of actual past events.

I am inclined to think of those trance experiences as originating from my imagination. This makes sharing them with the world seem more troubling to me than if they had actually occurred. Why did my imagination take those specific forms? What, if anything, do those trance experiences say about me as a real person?

I try and content myself in the thought that giving light to my trance experiences says no more about me than creative works say about their creators. Authors write fiction, and although their stories and novels may be informed by their life experiences, we generally do not think the stories reflect on the authors. Yet my experiences differ in that they were not shaped by conscious thought and hence are more like dreams. So I wonder, what do these “dreams” say about me?

Behind the Scene Is a Heroine

It took me a while to find an editor for the book, but after I found Melanie Christian, I’m very glad that she is my editor. She does predominantly a line-by-line edit of each chapter, making amendments to follow The Canadian Press Stylebook, as she told me, it’s required formatting guide for published works. Editing the book this way must be tedious work but Melanie has taken it so diligently.

Adding her intuition to her dedication, Melanie sends me a few chapters at a time, and I found her work establishes a more clear and fluid narrative. I know I will look and sound better because of her.

At Forward Muse Solutions, she’s holding it so true to her statement:

Continue to do what you love with the peace of mind that your content needs are inspired & running smoothly!

The sweet thing about Melanie is that she always inserts positive energies in each editing note she sends me.

And am so enjoying this story and your journey. You are an engaging storyteller!

Thank you again for your patience with my process. I hope you enjoy reading my revisions? And look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments. It really is wonderful. Believe me, I recognize that you have entrusted me with something precious. So, I’m handling with great care 🙂

Thank you again for such a fun opportunity of editing your book. You and Tim truly do have such a sweet story. And there are wonderful moments when I laugh out loud, because your sense of humour shines through. I hope you are happy with my revisions? And look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments.

I must say, I am really appreciating how you’ve chosen to divide up the chapters of Carol’s Lives. And the chapter titles are very captivating.

You can also find Melanie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieCWriter/

The City

This book is coming along. It really is.

I have promised myself to focus on finalizing the book this summer, which means, no travel until September.

Some days, my hypnotherapy client work can be intense, in both its depth and the volume. I try blocking at least one day per week to dedicate my time to the book.

A long way to come, but it has come to the last round of editing.

Today I had a last-minute cancellation with a client, and it gave me some room to reorganize where I’m at on the journey of this book-writing time-travelling project.

It brought my mind to New York again. Tim and I were visiting it in April, for his birthday.

Struggling to remain objective, I am aware of a strong and ridiculously comforting sense of familiarity, in New York, even though it’s only my second time visiting it, in this life.

I have judged the city, before I even came here. Now I’m madly in love with New York.

I am standing in a portal between memory and reality; it was clear at last that the only gap between the two was of time, of past and present.

Let me bridge the gap now by presenting a book, of me and Tim, in the present, and Carol and Rick, in the past.

P.S. I have made a little video on memory recalls in this city full of memories, for me.

History Drifts by the River

Standing by the Richelieu River flowing to NY

Looking back, I truly couldn’t have asked for a better place to finish off the first draft of the book Carol’s Lives.

The Richelieu River can be as still as a mirror

It was in late May, 2018, invited by Lorraine and Daniel, I went to a small riverside community called Saint-Paul-de-L’île-aux-Noix in Quebec for two weeks, a perfect place and length of time to finish the book that had taken me too long to finish.

Enchanted Canal of Richelieu River

On the shore of the Richelieu River, 45 minutes away from Montreal, I got up every morning, settled in the screened gazebo, and opened my laptop. It felt like a boathouse, with an enchanted canal and the Richelieu River all around me. Here I was 10 kilometers away from U.S border and 500 kilometers away from New York, writing about that hectic and sentimental life in Manhattan, in a peaceful and quiet setting. It felt surreal. A lifetime had come to an end. Here I was again.


For two weeks I did nothing else but write. My body and mind felt quite relaxed sitting and writing by the riverside everyday, yet my heart could ache with the darkness and hardship in the life of Carol and Rick. Like the wide river itself, peaceful and calm in the morning and evening, often full of waves following the whims of the wind in the afternoon, yet never giving any indication of the direction it flowed.

Sunrise over Fort Lennox

The act of writing was very smooth and inspirational. Words flew onto my computer screen as I watched the ever-changing sunlight drifting over the water and the procession of boats going in and out of the canal and down the river.

Across the river I could see Fort Lennox on the island called Ile-aux-Noix, a fortification still standing on a structure that was completed in 1829. History must have witnessed battles here. But right now, it has all come back into this single moment of peace where my finger hit the last key on the first draft of my book.

Final pages of Carol’s Lives

So close to New York

The Birthing of the Book Cover

One Vancouver summer’s afternoon, Tim and I met Silmara, our photographer and book cover designer, in Kitsilano (Don’t you like the sound of that name? So soft but firm, nearly romantic.)

We were to take some benching pictures overlooking the water for the book cover, to illustrate Tim and I, sitting in Vancouver in this life, looking ahead, through time, into New York City in the 20’s.

That was a relaxing afternoon. Silmara was working at her own pacing, directing and instructing us occasionally. At the same time, Tim and I had our conversations going on sitting on two different benches without being interrupted by Silmara’s work.

Silmara is the owner of The Orange Lamp studio in Kitsilano. We trusted her. Even though the original idea was mine, we had no idea what the final look of the book cover would be. But I could feel the excitement knowing Silmara was going to do the work.

A few weeks later, Silmara delivered three versions.

  

I liked them all for different reasons. Hard to decide, I put all three cover designs to my FaceBook page asking for opinions. And people say:

Through the covers we can almost read the book.. Great feeling I got from it.
Thank you for sharing yourself with the world my friend.
Despite the third also being great, I feel that the first is “closer” to the story.

Aesthetically the 3rd option pulls my attention more readily. The 1st is more subtle yet feels like you’re stepping into a private moment. Exciting times Kemila.

I am drawn to the third one (post cards).

Sitting with the designed covers for a couple of weeks, I knew I wanted something closer to the content to represent the book. And I knew Silmara hadn’t had the chance to read the book.

So we had another meeting with Silmara. Tim came up with the idea of ocean background, as in one of Carol’s lives, Sijo is living in a pristine ocean island. Tim sent an ocean picture that he took when we were visiting Oregon coast last summer.

And Silmara turned it into a beautiful cover background. Voila, our final cover was born. Even though Silmara went further designed another almost abstract version of the ocean bubbles, the moment I saw them coming into my email inbox, I knew which one I was going to take.

                  

Now what do you think?

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