A Note from Tim

In May 2018, I came up with this fancy idea, that was to have Tim write a note, or a preface for my book, without him reading it first.

I thought the entire book is about him, in and out of this life, it just made sense for him to have a say, at the beginning of the book. And without being too much influenced by my points of view, which are the tone of the book, it would be a great idea to put his original points of view into the book.

Tim gracefully cooperated and wrote the following piece. When you read the book, you will find, this “note” or the “preface” is not actually included in the book.  After this note was written, we discovered most of his “points of view” were already covered in my “points of view”. What a coincidence!  (wink)

Kemila told me about her idea for this book and asked me if I was okay with it. I am a private person and this book talks about events of my life, contains expressions of my personal feelings, and portrays experiences that I had while in a hypnotic trance. So this request made me deeply uncomfortable.

But then there is the story that the book would tell. At its core that is a story about love. And the person wanting to write it is the love of my life. So of course I gave her my blessing and encouragement and helped in any way that I could.

A core facet of the book involves my experiences while in a hypnotic trance and regressed (or progressed) to different points in time. What are those experiences? I certainly visualize events when guided through a regression process. Some events are easier than others to visualize and some questions easier to answer. Often, although not always, events become more clear and the experience becomes more tangible as the regression progresses. Feelings and emotions are almost always easier to identify than concrete details though sometimes those details are extremely vivid.

And afterward, coming out of a trance, opening my eyes, and re-joining the world that I generally inhabit, I feel a sense of dislocation much more pronounced than when waking from a powerful dream.

But did those things I experienced while in trance actually happen? Or are they instead an invention of my imagination, a fantasy? My professional background is computer science and science and logic ground my thinking. To my knowledge, there is no scientific basis to believe in reincarnation. Yet of all the world’s great belief systems, Buddhism makes the most sense to me. So even though it is almost impossible to prove a negative, I am skeptical that what I experienced in trance was a manifestation of actual past events.

I am inclined to think of those trance experiences as originating from my imagination. This makes sharing them with the world seem more troubling to me than if they had actually occurred. Why did my imagination take those specific forms? What, if anything, do those trance experiences say about me as a real person?

I try and content myself in the thought that giving light to my trance experiences says no more about me than creative works say about their creators. Authors write fiction, and although their stories and novels may be informed by their life experiences, we generally do not think the stories reflect on the authors. Yet my experiences differ in that they were not shaped by conscious thought and hence are more like dreams. So I wonder, what do these “dreams” say about me?

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